Mirrors and Mirages

by Sidetrack Walker

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1.
When I saw you the last time You said farewell without a smile I turned my back and ran away I couldn’t stand your blank emotionless face And now I am back here, alone Without you now and on my own And now I have to stay at home Forever waiting for the hopeful sounding phone Driven mad from inside by my own heart Gone insane I cry your name, we’re apart I can no more smile with ease I can no more cry to be free I can no more smile honestly I can no more be… Waiting, lingering, looking back Cannot turn around on life’s one-way track With my eyes closed I see the bifurcation While you’re in control to lead me left or right
2.
Maybe 03:57
So I cry But the tears can’t tell me why And I fall Down on my knees I have to crawl Leave me here Deep in the darkness of my self Hold me down You gave me up and you won’t help In the memories I’m lost and far away I can no more breathe As I can’t bring back the day In this empty space My only home has fled from me I’m left here in disgrace A foreign land where I can’t be Falling deeper Drowning in your Smile and in the Beauty of your Eyes You take my Hands and hold them Gently then you Leave them cold and Empty You feed me With the promise Again you leave me Starving me in Hope I don’t mind You control me As you told me “Maybe yes or No”
3.
Five candle flames The only life inside this room Flickering light Cannot warm my frozen heart Have I grown up Just to become lifeless? Was I once born Just to be aware of sleep? A stone of human shape Filled with the wish To know how it might feel Not to exist Walls so bare and naked Just like my hands In which I’ll never hold this life Like a chance With certain death in mind I hear my heartbeat So loud inside my ears A silencer I need In astral dreams beside I may find you When lights grow pale and harmless I will blind you I lay in your arms so close to me You are the peak of my poetry I reach for your name unknown to me O love, you’re my bleakest poetry Now I fall asleep The nightmares left behind me This is my way to flee From those visionary dreams Which haunt me every day When I seem to be awake My soul’s unending plague For I have no path to take.
4.
Sonnensturm 07:46
In der Nacht Scheint ein Atemzug zu schwach Für all die Traumgewalten In der Nacht Scheint ein Herzschlag viel zu kurz Das Leben zu erhalten In der Nacht Scheinen Träume in der Lage Sehnsucht in Erfüllung umzugestalten …Lights escape from new worlds To blind my thirsting eyes Reaching for my heart, Tearing me apart Ich gebe zu Ich atme tiefer wenn ich träume Und sauge Hoffnung ein Ich gebe zu Mein Herz schlägt stärker als es müsste Es will lebendig sein Denn in der Nacht Scheint jeder Funke wie ein Stern Welten tauchen ein in seinen goldnen Schein …Lights escape from new worlds To blind my thirsting eyes Reaching for my heart, Tearing me apart Nach diesem Licht zu greifen, Diese Welt mit einem Blick zu streifen – Ein Traumbild das mich hält Es ist als wollt’ ich fliegen Mit diesen Flügeln, die am Körper liegen – Gebunden an die Welt Die Augen jetzt zu schließen, Während Worte in die Bilder fließen Und jeder Zweifel zerfällt Es ist als wollt’ ich glauben, Mir die schönste Illusion erlauben In einer hoffnungslosen Welt. …These lights that shine within your world They bind my wishful eyes Pouring through my heart, Tearing me apart.
5.
More and more We adored The voice that spoke to us alone And touched our core When we saw The eyes that shone Just for the reason we were there Our souls merged into one And the yearning dripped From every word we spoke To turn our paths towards The feelings that awoke Now that we Get used to be Together in this newborn world Created in a dream More and more The grief will grow When maybe one bleak day we have To cut our strongest seam But this creeping fear Today shall not be more Than a wise whisper that Reminds us of the fire in our core
6.
From the highest peaks of joy Where I found the life in me I looked back over that vale A foggy landscape, so barren and bleak From where I climbed I saw the sun Its pleasant light to warm my heart And in the depths I tried to leave I recognised the pattern structures that tore me apart Clouds crept high above my head The winds from valleys brought them back And as they swept their shades about I knew that upwards is not a one-way track For where the mountains reach the sky The dusky vales are never far – just a single move I still can lose all of my faith Except for one, and that is you And even here – I can’t cry / I can’t hide / I can’t fly Free from clouds that blur my sight Now the fog is getting dense To enclose me once again The stalking shadows of my mind Try seduction, well-known whispers of the end But there’s still sunlight in the mist To take my hand and guide me home Again my feet feel far too weak To walk this unreal path my eyes can’t even show And even now – I can’t scream / I can’t see what’s real / I can’t sleep Free from stirring, chaotic dreams Which sometimes feel more plausible Than this world surrounding me Whose colours fade to formless nonsense Breathless, never-ending scenes To scare me into withdrawal And alienate me from myself My new resistance weak and bruised Held only by my love for you
7.

about

The album download contains a Bandcamp-exclusive live version of “Of Landscapes Unchanged” as a bonus track. This track is neither available through the Bandcamp stream, nor through any other streaming or download service. You will also receive PDF files with liner notes and lyrics.

This is not actually a new album: in fact, it dates back to the period 2004–2006, laying the foundation for much of my later songwriting and musical direction. Back then, these songs naturally evolved into some sort of loose concept album. The result was my first full-length, piano-based album project which I originally planned to release under the old moniker Unmasqueraded.
However, it wasn’t until 2015 that I finally had the chance to record the songs properly. While I felt that they needed some strings to properly unlock their potential, my search for suitable session musicians was long and fruitless. Eventually two violinists did agree to contribute some parts, but then disappeared without a word. When I got my hands on a high-quality string library after another two years, I decided to create the strings myself with midi sequencing, which may not be quite as cool as having ‘real’ strings, but saved the project from oblivion and gave me total freedom over the arrangements.
It may sometimes be true that good things come to those who wait, but in my experience you’ll often have to help them along somewhat. Finally, after all these years, I can present this old material to you. In hindsight, this is where my current style started to form, and while I can’t quite identify with the lyrics anymore, I still think these songs have a lot of musical merit.

Thanks to Andre Jonas, Marcel Gülzow, Mike Liassides, A.D. Jansen, Mia Muukkonen, Jürgen Baur, Benjamin Heidtmann and Joël at Lion’s Heart Productions, who, each in their own way, helped bring this album to fruition and offered valuable advice and feedback. Cheers to friends and family.

credits

released September 28, 2018

All music and lyrics written, arranged, performed, recorded and mixed by Dominik Sonders.
Cover image by Dominik Sonders. Cover layout by Andre Jonas and Dominik Sonders. Logo and handwriting by A.D. Jansen.

Mastered by Lion’s Heart Productions (www.lionsheartproductions.com).

© 2004–2018 Dominik Sonders. All rights reserved.

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Sidetrack Walker Kiel, Germany

Sidetrack Walker is an independent music project focusing on atmosphere and honest, emotional songwriting. Headed by German artist Dominik Sonders, it draws on genres such as Modern Classical, Prog/Art Rock, Dark Folk, Doom and Darkwave.

(Photo: Nikita Mädge)
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